Rituals & Routines
Hurray! Friday Night Pizza Night!! Flying Pie Pizza, here we come!
Before quarantine, one of our favorite family rituals was going to grab pizza every Friday night. The kids love playing the old-time pinball machine inside and we all love the pizza! For us, this ritual motivated us to complete all our work for the week and kicked off the weekend with a bright start. We still try to do Friday night pizza night in its own way now, but have faltered a bit. It got us thinking about how missing out on rituals and routines can be tough.
As we thought about it, we realized that it wasn’t just going to grab pizza that was exciting. It was the whole anticipation and routine. We turned to the experts on rituals to learn more about what makes routines so wonderful, and why we miss out without them. Psychology Today has some of our favorite points about rituals. It’s been really helpful to step back and think about how we can iterate our routines with some of these great points:
Routines invite cooperation - Routines prevent kids from feeling “bossed around” because they know that “this is just what we do and when we do it.” Alternatively, arbitrary scheduling invites conflict because it can come off without rhyme or reason.
Routines offer safety, comfort, and ease to the day - Knowing what to expect and when to expect it creates a pattern and routine for kids, offering stability and safety. Going to bed at the same time, eating meals at the same time, or any other routine improves those experiences. Knowing there’s a fun pizza-night together on Friday night creates comfort through the tough times at work or school.
Routines act as a stability anchor and relieve stress - Routines can truly decrease anxiety. The stability from routines creates a welcome predictability during uncertain times. Right now we need stability more than ever! A good friend of ours recently opened up a new pediatric dentistry. Right in the foyer she created a small cove where kids can go and play with blocks, legos, or other toys before their appointment. This simple routine of anticipating the fun “kids cove” can greatly diminish any stress or uncertainty around the whole dental visit.
So, where to start? Right now, there are fewer routines than ever before. Even the routines of school and playdates are off the table. We’re working on getting our pizza night fine-tuned again (home edition). If anything, it will at least be helpful to know which day is which :)
It could be fun to try a “creative hour” each day or week. How fun would it be to make a necklace, candles, or go on a picnic at home together? What kinds of routines do you want to put into place? What rituals do you already have?